You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
