someone get that fucking seahorse.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
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