You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
