I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
