some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
