I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
