I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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