I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
