That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
nutella sex= disaster
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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