He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
