Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
