im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
