i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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