She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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