That's when you crack a 10am beer
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
