if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize