Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize