I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize