so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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