When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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