I cannot find my penis.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
