Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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