i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize