youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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