Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
