508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
