I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So vagazzling was a success
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
