i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
