Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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