apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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