i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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