Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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