We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
