I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize