spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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