i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
