I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
