just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
