Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i need some magic done to my vagina
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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