STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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