we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
