I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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