The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
being pregnant is like rehab
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize