I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
