Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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