Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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