grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We had sex on a dog bed..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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