you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
