We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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