I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
