You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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