question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
