If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize