Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
