To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
