he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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