apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
