Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
