i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
