toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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