He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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