2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
