that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
