I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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